I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
