The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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