it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
did i walk over a car last night?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
