You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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