Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
