i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
