Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
