No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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