Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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