no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
