I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
