Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
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I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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