we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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