So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
