You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize