I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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