i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
