Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Holy shit dude........stairs
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
