I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
