Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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