She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
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I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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