Having a random hookup so left but love u
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize