Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I believe in your delicious
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
