i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
