Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
