My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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