i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
