Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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