She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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