It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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