what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
