what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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