am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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