She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Is it because I queefed?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
