He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
