Kiss
Puke
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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