I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
How does one acquire holy water?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
