He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
