I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
