it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
