the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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