Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he thought i was a dude.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
