you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
