This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
