Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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