Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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