talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No stitches, just platelets and will power
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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