4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
