Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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