so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
