Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
