I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
