So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My life is pants optional.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
