i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize