the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
