My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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